1. The family Living room
At home the living room is strictly dedicated for the parents’ guests. If your house has a living room and dining room. Your parents will literally dice you if they ever catch you sitting in their precious living room. Let’s not even talk about bring your friends to sit there too. You basically spend your entire life time in the kitchen, dining room or bedroom.
2. Weekend cleaning house
If your parents are christians, Cleaning MUST be featured with some gospel or religious songs whether you like it or not at the family home. You literally clean the entire house including scrubbing the wall ,doors , windows to name a few. Don’t be surprise if you find yourself on top of the roof cleaning there too!
3. Different Exits at the Family home but the front door…
If there is a manual stating rules on how to act at a family house , it includes “Never use the front door under any circumstance“, as a number one rule! Those with several exits know the deal. most time people settle down for kitchen entrance as it naturally becomes the main entrance.
4. Ghetto family Lunch time calls
Today’s mothers text , calls or even FaceTime their children to ask them to come home for lunch time . Back in the days , it was all original with some type of freestyle where mothers will lean over the window and yell their children’s name so that they can come to eat lunch when they are playing outside.
5. Hygiene is a MUST !
It is well know that you are forbidden to leave the house without brushing your teeth, a shower or a bath. However once you hit school and a classmate says they shower once a week and chewing gum is the new oral B toothbrush in town and deodorant is their favourite shower. The shock on your face is off the earth.
6. Inexplicable things parents do
You ever had a situation where you are upstairs minding your business in your room then your parents urgently call you from the living room to come and give them the remote control that is close to them on the coffee table. matter of fact even required you change the channel for them while you are at it.
7. Expiring date
It is evident that most families do not or never check expiring date on food products , cleaning products , skin care , hair products etc. According to parents those numbers are just so that companies can push them to buy another products that they have not currently finished. So until it is finished they will not buy a new item. For instance a toothpaste is officially finished when the tube is cut off and completely emptied.
8. Allergy for posh
Having an allergy is like you are trying to act posh. Until they see you dying from it. For instance , your mother’s cook something that includes an ingredient that gives you allergy. refusing to eat that is like pulling a stunt. So there is a chance for you to sleep like that until you eat the food then they bare the consequence.
9. Energy on fleek
10. Sofa protection
Whether it is leather , fabric or even plastic leather ,leaving a sofa uncovered is just not right . Especially if you live in the house with a cleaning maniac, that sofa must be covered no matter what it takes. It all starts with a throw on the sofa for decoration then the throw or blanket ends up covering the sofa instead of human being then the decision has to be made really quick “a fabric cover or plastic one”.
11. Remote control protection
When the new tv hits home , they are procedure for everything. the plastic on the screen has to remain on the TV for at least a week. Then the remote control remain in its initial plastic bag for so call safety reason. or most times they go an extra mile to even wrap all the remove with some plastics to protect it 😅. Then once you see a rubber band or sealer tape on it , it simply mean the remote control is officially broken.
12. The art of snitching
When your auntie sees you somewhere she knows well you shouldn’t be there. Then she approaches you nicely, says hi , how are you? What about your parents? Send my regards to your parents Okay, with a devil smile 😏. In other words, It means I am about to report you right now to your parents so you better prepare for your wooping. Mind you that is when you are about 16. Below that age, you get a surprise knock in the head or some type of spriritual slap that will make your feet accelerate for your life.
Parents are notorious for setting children up with this one. They ask you to let them know if you broke something or lost their stuff . Mind you , they emphasize on the fact that you shouldn’t worry at all and inform them immediat
-ely when it happens. Then when you eventually do they beat you up so bad for breaking a plate or glass let’s not talk about when you lose the money they gave you to buy them something.
14. School snitchs …
When the school reports you to your dad who tells your mum. Both 1st beat you up and you are punished. It is usually who sees you first who opens the wooping so that the other one can close. And you best to believe, the competition of the best wooper is usually off the chart. Mum doesn’t stop there oh no no no, she MUST announce your deed to the entire family. Then you get your uncles and aunties who start promising you some long future wooping for when they see you. Imagine that…
15. Go get the belt …
When they say go get a belt to woop you. And your slick self brings the smallest belt in the house. Well guess, what check mate! Because you are about to see the other options of belts you never knew existed in that house such as a broom, a wire , a hanger, a big belt, a cable , etc.
What are the weirdest things your family does that you thought was normal? Comment below…